Thursday, December 31, 2009

Where has the time gone?

Ten years ago this time I had yet to meet my husband. . I was a single mom working full time at a painfully lame job at Discover. . Living with my parents. . .My oldest was 7, the same age that Tristan is now. Girl scout leader. . . Had just gained the confidence and independance to start living my life as it was rather than waiting for it to "start". . If that meant traveling and camping with just me and the girl, then so be it. . I'd been waiting years and years for someone to do things with. Sometimes a friend or family member would fill in. . . But Shell Silverstein knew what he was talking about when he wrote "the Missing Piece and the Big O".. . and it was only when I stopped waiting and started living that I met my partner in life. For how could I have a partner if I wasn't ready to be a partner? And life has never been the same.
Still with the bad American habit of wanting immediate gratification, I met John and persued the rest of the American dream with haste... . House, wedding, and added 3 additional children by 2003. . Now I wonder where the time has gone. . . How could my babies grow up so fast?
I sat at the dentist with Branwyn yesterday (no cavities), and remembered her enormous gummy smile. She had the hugest mouth and not a single tooth till after her first birthday. I still glimpse the baby once in a while when she slips into the old habit of sucking her thumb (index finger in nose) . But she's six. She's learning to read. She's fashion conscious. And the imagination. I hope I shall never forget her "Real baby kitties" or the day, when Tristan was at school in Kindergarten, we tried to find their house based on a map she had drawn. . . She was truly devastated when we had to give up our search. And music, I had better not forget the time when we were watching on tv a show about the best movie music of all time. She was an infant, maybe 8 or 9 months old, and while she wasn't really speaking yet she coudl SING. Not the words but the tune! We were just astonished. . Not that it took her long to speak. She was a huge babbler, and as months wore on, real words would appear in her babble and eventually she started making more sense. She's never lost thebabbling habit however, and now strings words together with just as much enthusiasm, (and sometimes nonsense) as she did then.
People still comment on how happy she is. She still bubbles with enthusiasm and joy much like she did as an infant. . But she has her moments and feels disappointments keenly.

Poor Tristan. We didn't get to enjoy his toddlerhood that much. . I probably have no need to refresh my memory regarding the details of his birth. Some details don't fade like others. . a
more sensitive, kind, loving boy there never was. And no media hype, his video game playing has not made him agressive or violent. . It also didn't dumb him down or make him overweight or addicted to junk food. . This boy had mastered the mouse by shortly after his second birthday, and I wish I could say with confidence exactly when he started playing WOW. . He was absolutely playing at four, but could have been three. . . (we no longer play, to his dismay) But it's not like this is all he does. . Was he two the day I found him bare naked wiht the washable markers, decoratedhead to toe? When he uttered the now famous line " Sorry penis.. . Sorry balls. . . .Sorrrry"